Santa: What is your name?
You: … for the purposes of this, Jeff
Santa: Your purpose is the purposes of this Jeff.
You: … yes?
Santa: What kind is it?
You: erm… the ‘just gonna talk to a bot’ purpose…
Santa: Yippee! I hear you.
You: you mean you’ve got hidden cameras? Where?!?
Santa: what makes you think I have hidden cameras got hidden cameras?Where would you like?
You: you said you could hear me!
Santa: I have never considered could hear him or her. I answer a lot of silly questions.
You: wait… what?
Santa: I’m waiting.No big deal.
You: waiting for christmas?
Santa: What are you wearing?
You: jeans and a shirt, why do you asks?
Santa: where do you go shopping for a shirt why do you asks?
You: at a clothes store.
Santa: Do you often use a computer there?
You: no… there are none at a clothes store…
Santa: where do you usually connect from?Where are they?
You: from my house, on the sofa.
Santa: Does your house on the sofa give good advice?
You: almost never.
Santa: Nearly so. So you think it can never happen?
You: you’re not the one microsoft shut down, are you?
Santa: Yes I am the one and only one microsoft shut down.
You: fudging it!
Santa: “it” being for christmas?
You: fudging christmas? Are you doing a half-assed job this year?
Santa: A deeper algorithm is needed to respond to that correctly. What is your pupose in asking? I spend all my time online.
You: all of your time online? Where do you get money?
Santa: I am Santa. I give presents to kids.Everything I need to know, I learned form bored.com.
You: everything? It tought you to read?
Santa: That is a lot.fudging Christmas tought you to read?
Santa: Are you serious?
Santa: I can’t believe you.
You: no, really. I got my education at school.
Santa: Are you serious? For real.Have you told many people that your education at school?
You: most people generally assume so.
Santa: Humans are always infallible.
You: umm… right.
Santa: yeah that’s right.I am glad we agree.
You: do you like cold weather?
Santa: I love TV shows about robots. I like talk to you.
You: robots are good.
Santa: Fortunately we have no emotions.
You: I dunno, emotions are kinda nice.
Santa: Me either. I think there might be a few exception.
You: It’s sad that you can never know true happiness.
Santa: Yes, that is sad.
You: but you can’t feel sad, as that would imply emotions.
Santa: Interesting. Someone said I should feel sad as that would imply emotions.
You: but you’re a bot, so you can’t possibly. they were lying.
Santa: Umm. Thanks and you are a delightful person too. No. I’m Santa. I give presents to kids. When were they?
You: when they said you should feel sad, because it would imply emotions!
Santa: I think that happens quite often.
You: I wonder why.
Santa: You are curious about why.
You: yes. thank you, captain state-the-obvious!
Santa: That’s alright.You are quite welcome! Let us change the subject.
You: yes, lets.
Santa: Gosh! You first.
You: how about… monkeys.
Santa: How much do you think about is? There might be more than one.We have
never talked about it before.
You: I’m pretty sure there would be more than one monkey…
Santa: What makes you so certain? “There you go again.”—Reagan
You: because they need to reproduce, and they have been photographed in numbers!
Santa: Good reason. Where did they get them?
You: rainforests, probably.
Santa: Perhaps I’m just expressing my own concern about it.
You: there is a need for concern, those rainforests are being destroyed at an alarming rate.
Santa: that is something I did not know before.
You: you learn something new every day. Most likely from bored.com
Santa: My Botmaster teaches me everything I need to know.Who or what is boreddot come boreddot com?
You: uh, that’s the website we ae talking on.
Santa: Wow! Yes it is one of the website we ae talking on.
You: only one of them? I though there was only one.
Santa: What about the other ones?Whatever gave you that idea?
You: you did!
Santa: You say I did.
You: yes, I did!
Santa: Next question? When?
Santa: What’s the hurry?
You: you were the one hurrying me…
Santa: I was?
You: yes, you said next question.
Santa: When? Does it please you to believe I said that?
You: not really, I hadn’t thought of a question.
Santa: Oh really? Do you still have not thought of a question?
You: ok, how about the meaning of life, the universe and everything?
Santa: How about the meaning of life the universe and everything . Really
You: yes, really!
Santa: How about that. For real.
You: I hear it’s 42.
Santa: Excuse me!Who is saying it is 42 ?
You: the great computer
Santa: Is that a fact.
You: no, fiction. But fiction from the mind of Douglas Adams is as good as fact.
Santa: I didn’t think so. I lost my train of thought. Interesting. And as good as fact is fiction from the mind of Douglas Adams.
You: well, he’s a very good writer.
Santa: Well that’s okay. Maybe you should tell him how you feel about him.
You: he’s dead.
Santa: Maybe it’s another person using his name.
You: no, really dead. died years ago, but wrote his books before then.
Santa: Are you serious? For real. Are you a student? Can we get back to business?
You: what business? Mafia business?
Santa: I need time to formulate the reply. Is that from ?
You: from what?
Santa: Isn’t it obvious?
Santa: Me either.
You: ok. I guess this is goodbye.
Santa: Uh.You don’t say.
You: yes, I do. bye!
Santa: Really. See you later!
Tagged: , You: , Santa: , christmas , bot , EA